This term for writing we have read Aladdin and the Enchanted Lamp by Phillip Pullman and using this as a model for our writing. We have learnt how to use a number of different language features such as similes, alliteration, onomatopoeia, and personification.
Something I have learnt is what a complex sentence is because I did not know what it was before but now it makes perfect sense to me. An Example is Aladdin fell asleep with tears in his eyes and awoke still being blurry eyed, to find nothing had changed.
Something that I am proud of Is learning new words because it will help my writing be better.
Something I would like to improve on for next time is changing the words because you want it to be different from the teacher mode.
Here is my writting:
Shivering with nervousness Aladdin couldn’t wait to enter the cave. Anxiously, he skipped towards the cave’s edge. The cave was gooey and gloomy. Dark and dusty. Smelly and small. Aladdin dived into the hole like a swimmer diving into a pool.
Underneath the pink Blossom of an oleander tree. Bees were sipping nectar Adjacent to the tall pine were glistening streams sparkling in the night air. Aladdin listened carefully, he heard a bubbling drip echoing through the cave and a strange creature scuffling in the shadows. Why am I here? He thought to himself.
Rocking mysteriously in the golden gazebo was a shimmering but slightly dusty lamp. Aladdin’s attraction peaked. As he grabbed out and snatched the lamp the water danced, the leaves moved and the trees waved.
Crusty, dusty ground. Aladdin saw a plain ring with a note attached. The note read ¨This ring is enchanting, so enchanting, extremely enchanting. This ring is powerful,so powerful,extremely powerful. This ring is unique, so unique, extremely unique¨. Uncle screamed ¨Hurry up! Where is it you flea-ridden peasant!¨
As fast as a flash, Uncle yeeted a magical powder- blue billowed, orange overflowed and pink popping. The Earth groaned and shook and the entrance to the tunnel closed.
The cave was Dark. Darker as dark as a bat’s wing. Sobbing with rage he realized there was no way out. As days merged into nights a sense of helplessness began to seep into him. The walls reeked of blue cheese. The ground smelt as putrid as rotten eggs and a depressing stench of anger and loneliness hung in the air. Aladdin fell asleep with tears in his eyes and awoke still being blurry eyed, to find nothing had changed.
Yawning and stretching his hand lightly touched against the iron ring in his pocket that he’d forgotten about Crash, roar, bang! The cave exploded. A disruptive cold and raging storm had started. He could see it. He could see it vividly. He could see it vividly through the shards of darkness. With gleaming red eyes the Jinnee stared at him and boomed “I can give you anything in your wildest dreams!”
Aladdin, who was shocked and excited, Stammered. ¨I order you to give me freedom!¨ Urgently, the Earth trembled, tore and grumbled Aladdin out. If only he stayed home, if only he had been blind, if only he never did this, the entire drama could have been avoided.
Have you ever read Aladdin?